Strategies for Raising Confident and Adventurous Travelers

Raising children who are confident travelers and are willing to try new experiences is a lot like training for a marathon…or at least I assume it is somewhat similar, as I have never actually trained for anything over a 5k. I do know, however, that training for a marathon must be intentional and this is the same approach my husband and I have taken with how we are raising our children. We did not one day decide to take our elementary aged kids and do a 7 mile hike through Kings Canyon National Park or randomly decide to free dive with sharks in Florida. We had been preparing our children for those experiences since they were toddlers. We have constantly given our kids experiences that have helped them learn that they can do hard things and to be confident in their abilities. All before the age of ten, our children have swam with sharks, went rock climbing in Maine, zip lined through the rain forest and many more adventures.  

This article would offer tips and real life application on how to raise confident kids who are willing to try new things.

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Tip #1 - Use everyday activities to help your kids become confident in their abilities

Teaching your kids how to be confident in their abilities does not need to involve complex methods or activities. For our family, it started when our kids were toddlers with trips to the playground, gymnastic/ninja classes, and exposure to new activities.

All three of our children participated in "mommy/daddy and me" gymnastics classes starting around age one. While I initially enrolled in these classes as a way to get out of the house and provide structure to our days, I loved seeing my kids confidence grow each week.

My kids do not remember climbing the rock wall at gymnastics when they were one, but those experiences were still important in their development. Fast forward six year when we asked our kids if they wanted to try rock climbing in Acadia National Park, all three of them were on board.

Tip #2 - Promote healthy risk-taking behaviors

We have a saying in our family- "Do it scared". We want our kids to know that even the bravest of people get scared and that being scared is actually a good thing. Being scared does not mean you are not brave, it is our mind and body telling us that this situation has a risk associated with it and we need to make choices that will mitigate that risk. (There is also a plethora of research that shows that risk-taking behaviors are also a benefit in the business world. )

One way to promote risk-taking behavior as a parent is modeling that behavior. Sometimes as a parent I catch myself doing an activity not because I want to, but because I want my kids to see me try new things. Like the time I tried to wake surf in the not so warm waters of Lake Huron. Our family friend asked if I wanted to give it a try. This was after his adult children and my brother took turns showing off their skills. I had never been wake surfing surfing before, I was tired because I was camping with three kids 4 and under and I was nervous I would fail and look stupid. Guess what....I did fail, multiple times. When I got back on the boat, my four year old looked at me and said "You were terrible! I love you!" and gave me a big kiss. That made it all worth it. He saw me try something new, even though I was scared. He saw me fail and still smile. He was proud of me for trying. All the things I want my kids to do, I unintentionally was modeling for him.

There are so many great articles on age appropriate risky play. Allowing your kid to take risks (even if it is scary to watch or breaks your heart when they fail), is so important when raising confident kids.

"Risky play fosters independence, risk-assessment skills, and "positive" stress—the kind that is growth-promoting. Children evaluate their limits when they experiment and push themselves during play" -Psychology Today

Tip #3 - Learn how to motive different personality types

We have three children with three very different personalities, which means we had to learn three difference ways to promote risk taking.

Our oldest, Parker, needed no help in this area, as he is a natural born risk taker. In fact, our main job was how to help him learn to control his body and impulses. During hikes we create clear boundaries and expectations. We want our kids to have fun, but kids still need boundaries because they do not have the ability yet to understand the outcomes of certain risks.

Some tips:

• Before a hike, discuss the ground rules.

  • For example, depending on the hike, we let our children know if this is a hike where they can run or not. Some hikes have no risk of a drop off or no fast moving bodies of water.

• Determine a hiking order

  • On certain parts of hikes, we have rules where we must stay in order. It is a parent in the front, 3 kids in the middle (they can not pass each other), and a parent in the back.

We have identical twins, one of whom is more risk adverse and sometimes is a little trickier to motivate when it comes to trying new things or pushing herself during a hike. We have tried external motivation, internal motivation, bribing, threatening to leave her behind (probably not the best tactic, but sometimes we are desperate). As a parent, you have to know when to push your kid and when to let it go.

One summer we took a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota. We were there with my parents, siblings and their spouses and their kids. It was a great trip. I am the planner on these trips, but I knew that not everyone in my family has the same enjoyment of hiking as I do. So, I spared them and only scheduled one hike, which was Cathedral Spires in Custer State Park (great hike if you are in that area). It was a 2 mile hike with 540 feet of elevation. While we were walking, some people going the opposite direction told us that there was a mama mountain goat and her babies at the end of the trail. I was so excited to finish the hike and was really hoping that they were still there. My one daughter decided that after 1.8 miles she was done and was going to just sit in the shade with my sister and niece and wait for us to finish the hike and come back. In her defense, it was 90 degrees and so humid that week. I really did not want her to miss out on seeing the mountain goats, so I asked her if she could just try to keep going so she can see the goats. Her response "just take a picture for me". She did end up coming to the end of the trail and saw the goats and was very proud and happy that she made that decision. Even when I think I have the best motivator for her, sometimes I am wrong.

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I love nature and outdoor adventures. I obviously want my kids to enjoy these activities as well, which is a huge factor in why we are raising our kids the way we do. However that is not the only reason we are hoping to raise confident and adventurous kids. I also want my kids to learn what motivates them, what brings them joy, to learn what risks are worth taking in life, and most importantly to know that we are proud of them no matter what <3